For me, it's generally NEVER worked to remain friends with an "ex,"---either they wanted the relationship and I didn't, OR I wanted it and they didn't and the times we tried getting together for a lunch or a chat, it was soooooooooo uncomfortable.   I realize everyone handles an "ex" differently, but for you gals, here's some advice on how to do IF you really want to stay friends with an "ex!"

A boyfriend is more than just a lover, he becomes a confidante and an important friend. When you break up, losing that friend can be really hard. Although it is difficult, relationship experts say it is possible to stay friends with an ex as long as you follow some simple rules:


Let go of the anger and blame: You have to forgive and forget the problems that ended the relationship. If you want to have your ex in your life, you need to forget the past.

Start small: After all the hurt and emotional strain of an ended relationship, you can't expect to jump right into a friendship. Start with simple small talk and work back into a friendship.

Focus on his strengths: If you broke up because you couldn't handle certain aspects of his personality or his maturity level, you can't fixate on those things as a friend. Remember his strengths and all the reasons you fell for him in the first place and focus on the good qualities – if you can't do this you won't be able to maintain a friendship.

Set boundaries: Befriending an ex can sometimes open the door to intimacy and feelings of love. Unless you are trying to rekindle the flame, do not become physical with an ex.

Don't be jealous: Being friends with an ex means possibly seeing him with a new girlfriend. You have to let go of emotional ties and view him as you would any other friend in a relationship. (Redbook)