6 Things You Better Have For North Dakota Winters
It's cold. It's getting colder. North Dakota winters are nothing short of brutal. It's coming, and it you don't want to be caught with your pants down. Like, literally, and figurative pants. If you're new to the area, or just would like a few tips to survive our insanely cold winters, I'll help you out.
Things You Need
I've put together a list of different things you may need. Keep in mind, this list is based off of my personal experiences, so take the advice or succumb to the cold. Some of these suggestions may seem small/trivial, or even unimportant to the untrained and inexperienced North Dakotan, but allow me to assure you, they are are very much essential to survival.
Okay, so here we go. Here are 8 Things You Need To Survive North Dakota Winters:
Don't sleep on this one. If you think it's not important to have Chapstick in the Winter, sweet baby child, let me tell you, you are so wrong. Not only is it cold, but North Dakota isn't known for having a lot of moisture in the air. If it's not that, it's the wind. Your lips will look diseased if you're not careful.
2. Extended Ice Scraper
While the short ice scrapers are good in a pinch, keep in mind, every day is a pinch in North Dakota. You need something with a broom on one end, and a massive scraper on the other. Plus, if you're short like me, this will help you clear the ice off the whole car, rather than the bit your tetradactyl arms can reach.
3. Desk Heater
Just because you've managed to shelter yourself from the worst of the cold (Outside), doesn't mean you will find yourself at a comfortable temperature. I say this especially to all the ladies: get a mini space heater, blow a couple fuses, and apologize for nothing. Remember: we are many, and we are cold. Rawr.
4. Pen & Paper
This one might seem odd. Allow me to explain. You should always have a pen and notepad in your vehicle. Why? Well, you will inevitably find yourself in a situation where you've slidden into another car. Ice is no fun to drive on. So, what do you do?
Be a pal and leave a "Ope I hit ya, bud" note on whoever's blessed car you dinged. It's the "North Dakota Nice" thing to do.
Exception To The Rule: You may pass go and collect $200 if you ding a car that has already been dinged. If a note already rests under the windshield wiper of that car you kissed, then you have been pardoned. Get out of there. It's not your judgment day.
5. Car Starter
This might sound bougie; let me assure you it's not. Get one installed asap. I'm sure someone will tell you just to buy a block heater, but don't listen to them. Block heaters require electricity, so you have to run that baby to an outlet. To that, we say booooo.
Not only that but you still have3 to go out into the cold to plug your car up. This defeats the whole purpose.
If you're going to make an extra trip out there anyway, just walk out and start you car in the morning 20 minutes before you leave. Trust me, a car starter is a sound investment.
6. Sorels/Winter Boots
Every female from North Dakota knows the power of Sorels boots. They are the warmest, most fashionable boots available in the Northern hemisphere. We long for these boots. They are expensive, don't get me wrong, but they are well worth it. INVEST IN YOURSELF -- I always say.
Anyway, I've depleted myself of all creative energy and helpfulness. Hopefully this has better prepared you for North Dakota Winters to come.
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