Back in August, Mark David Chapman, who is serving a 20-years-to-life sentence for the 1980 killing of John Lennon, was denied parole for the 10th time. Earlier today (Nov. 15), the transcript of his hearing was released, and Chapman admitted that his act was "senseless" and that it has taught him about shame.

“Thirty years ago I couldn’t say I felt shame and I know what shame is now,” he said, as reported by the Associated Press. “It’s where you cover your face, you don’t want to, you know, ask for anything.”

He also spoke about how Lennon was "incredible" to him by autographing his copy of Double Fantasy earlier in the day, and that it caused him to question whether or not to go through with killing Lennon.

“I was too far in,” Chapman added. “I do remember having the thought of, ‘Hey, you have got the album now. Look at this, he signed it, just go home.’ But there was no way I was just going to go home.”

According to his wife, Gloria, he had gone to New York from their home in Hawaii two months earlier to kill Lennon, but changed his mind. "He came home scared, telling me that to make a name for himself he had planned to kill Lennon." she said shortly before his hearing. "But he said my love had saved him.”

Chapman said that his primary reason for killing Lennon was due to a desire for fame rather than any contempt for Lennon. Yet he said his decision to use hollow-point bullets was "to make sure he would be dead. It was immediately after the crime that I was concerned that he did not suffer.”

The New York Board of Parole used his motive against him in their ruling.  ruled against Chapman. "You admittedly carefully planned and executed the murder of a world-famous person for no reason other than to gain notoriety," they wrote. "While no one person's life is any more valuable than another's life, the fact that you chose someone who was not only a world renown person and beloved by millions, regardless of the pain and suffering you would cause to his family, friends and so many others, you demonstrated a callous disregard for the sanctity of human life and the pain and suffering of others."

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